OK so you are in recovery, her father was in recovery, she's 25 and not getting out of life what she wants. She watched her mother not get what she wanted, and now she is thinking she will repeat the pattern.

Anything that goes right you will not get credit for. Everything that goes bad will be your fault.

Go get some counseling together. Committ to 6 mos of it, you may need sessions for yourselves as well.

Good luck

JDS