Hello Interested and welcome
We all understand how you are feeling and you have found a great site.
Have you been to your doctor to tell him/her how you are feeling. Just from reading your post....I can sense depression but I am not a doctor

You are very wise to know that something isn't right and I am proud of you for reaching out looking for answers.
Don't be afraid to talk to him/her and let them know what you are feeling. They are there to help you.
Keep posting to us and let us know. Take care of yourself.

Heather
"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown