My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Recently I had to move back to my home town because I was unemployed and low on money, and it wasn't working for me to live in his hometown anymore. I had been living with him and part of his life and family for the whole duration of our relationship, but was not able to pursue my career or see my family in his city. We had a few ups and downs before I left, mostly aggravated by the stress of being poor and trying to get ahead in our mutual careers, but before leaving things were very good. We are best friends and really passionate about each other.

Now it's just three weeks later - for the first two weeks apart we had great phone calls and positivity about upcoming visits and moving to a new city together. Since the weekend, however, he has been busy when I call and today he was in quite a state, announcing that he doesn't see any way to fit me into his life, and he doesn't want to try and make a plan together.

I'm just so sad. I know I have to be patient and see what happens, but he has freaked out like this about commitment a few times before, and I don't know if I want a man who sees me as a hindrance to his independence and sense of self, who is always waiting for me to make plans for us or to convince him that we should be together. I'm just about to give up hope that we can have something together in the future. This just breaks my heart because I can't imagine being without him, whether he is on the end of a telephone or by my side.