Quote:
Originally Posted by lindee
Just need someone to care.
I feel like I want to explode. Want to tear something up , destoy something, anything. But instead I am imploding. Taking all my rage and turning inside. I am a quiet person but today , actually for a long time, I am a raging maniac. On the inside. I can't sit still but i just want to crawl into a hole. I am not productive. I don't do anything but sit and then up and pace. i am a misfit. I never do anything right.
I have been told all the things that I should be doing to help myself. Including not using the word "should". Have been going to therapy for almost six years. But I just waste it. Why don't I do what I need to do?
I am such a waste of bone and flesh.
I have a husband of 30 years who loves me with all his heart. He would do anything for me but he doesn't know what else to do for me.
Its a bad day.
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I'm sure I don't need to tell you that it is your illness that is causing your "bad day"
I can't even remember how long I've been under going treatment. Those couple of "good days" that come along are way less than the number of "bad days".
And yes we know all the things we are suppose to do and say on the "bad days". However, knowing and doing are miles apart when you are having a "bad day".
But you are NOT a waste of bone and flesh. You are a person suffering with an illness that is so tricky it can destroy all the "good days".
You are always welcome here Lindee
