turquoisesea thank you for the support, and reassuring me that him telling me to stop playing games was wrong of him sometimes i doubt myself. 'N' is very supportive of the decisions i make and he is trying to help me to see what i can do for myself in both situations.
AAAAA 'J' is the one that told me to stop playing games... i probably will stop talking to 'J' for a little while so i can make the best decision for myself andthen yeah tell him the final decision.... thanks for the advice its been really helpful....
i will keep you all updated on what i am doing....