I'm happy.. That Connor and I have got back together. It happened yesterday. We were talking about it and I told him that I had been planning something nice for the weekend and stuff and told him I wanted us to get back together. He asked when I really wanted it to happen and I said "today.. Now.." and started crying then he asked if I'd take him back and I said yes, which is great! I'm so, so glad we're back together.

I'm just scared things might go back to the way they were. For instance, last night, the pains in my stomach came back with a huge, horrible vengeance and I passed out from the pain I was in. I phoned nhs 24/7 and they just said keep taking painkillers.. I've been doing it for weeks now! And it still hasn't stopped!!!
I was scared to tell Connor, because he might have thought I was "over dramatising" again. I told him though, and he made sure I was ok this morning. I had b*gger all sleep last night and when I did eventually sleep then wake up, I just felt worse than I did before I think it's because I'm worrying taht I'm gonna mess eveything up again, like I did before, you know?

I hate this, really i do.. Because I shouldn't be worrying, but I am and it's causing me to suffer even more.. I'll be seeing a community support worker from SWEDA tomorrow, so maybe I can talk to her about it. I don't know.. I just wish these pains would go away. And now they're causing me to be unable to eat, along with a really sore throat and the flu making me feel like utter poo it's not good.

I just wish I didn't have to suffer with this damned horrible depression and anxiety I never stop woryying about things.. When will it stop? I don't want my depression and anxiety to be the cloud hanging over my whole life, mine and Connor's relationship, everything taht I do.