Quote:
Originally Posted by Practice2
we generall fight about the same things - him saying one thing and doing another, him playing video games every single night n if i once in a while ask him to lay wiht me instead he gets all mad (even though he's unemployed at the time n can play games whenever he wants), and my negative attitude about his daughter coming over (which is something i just need to work on) mainly.
he doesn't try becaues we've gone through every issue and talked about them and came to a common ground, but then the next day he does the exact same thing he said he wouldn't anymore. it's like it went in one ear n out the other or something. or, he'll get all defensive if i ask him to call me if he's gonna be late or plans change n he says that's just how he is n me asking to call is trying to change him, when i just see it as common courtesy.
i definately don't think he's hiding anything. he just comes off as inconsiderate and self-centered or something?
thanks!
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You don't like that he plays video games, or says he'll come over, or do something, than does other things first. Ok, let me tell you what my T once told me, no one owes you anything. It's not common courtesy to him, but it is to you. I am like you, in that I think my wife should tell me if she's doing something and is gonna be late, but she doesn't want to be smothered. We came to the conclusion - If you're going to be more than 30 mins late, pls call so I know at the very least you're ok. Obvously tho, he thinks it's not rude and doesn't owe you anything in regards to explaining where he is.
I agree with Tat - and if he won't sit and talk with you, you owe him nothing either. Tell him I am not trying to change you, I just would like some common ground, and some attn, if video games are your thing fine, but give me some time too. You can't make someone change unless they want too...trust me, I have changed for my wife, because I love her, and I wanted to change, my behaviour was destructive to her, my kids and me...if he loves you, and this behaviour is destructive to you, let him know. If he won't agree to some sort of compromises, and stick to them, you have to do what's best for you.
GL and God Bless!