hi peter and welcome to pc!!!  based on what you posted i'd say it was a little of both...experiementation, your not understanding what was going on and some sexual abuse issues involved brought on by the older boy. do you have a therapist? since this life event has surfaced a therapist can help you understand what went on and put it in the proper perspective for you, imho. let us know what you decide to do....yes i think abuse was involved and you were the victim.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
|