mybe i'm not trying hard enough. maybe i just con't care any more--
T doesn't get it--or maybe she does and i don't. idk.
i'm too tired to even try and figure it out.
voices tto loud.
depression too heavy
memories flash like a quick slide show or maybe video on hyper speed.
don't want to deal.
things really are better and safe in the here and now.
just can't seem st stay here.
i see everything around me.
i do the grounding.
i try and stay present.....
but my inside world is a mess.
T said to get my inside "power team" together
to find my "Wise" one (Ajna) and listen to her....
i can't even see around inside.
all i hear is anger and fear..
things are different now i keep saying.
but insiders don't know that--not crystal and Amber....
they know what was before.
i am so done.
i just want to be normal.
to have a life
ONE life.