I think there was a lot of insight in your last post - I read it a couple of times -
(quote Earthmama - Apparently I will do anything to avoid talking about childhood stuff.

What I did was a "one-time-event" kind of a thing, so it is over. I can't even imagine what T is thinking. I can't even believe I did it. It was just shocking, and stupid, and painful, and awful, and literally, truly crazy.

(quote Earthmama - Apparently I will do anything to avoid talking about childhood stuff.

H is going out of town tomorrow. I hope I will be okay. T was going to call me. I don't know whether to have him call now or not.

I hope you decide to let t call you

I am SO ASHAMED I can't imagine ever talking to or seeing him again.
whatever you did - im sure T has heard worse, dealt with worse, Im sure that he just wants you to be safe, just wants to help you - I hope you let him call you

Huh - maybe that's why I did it. If I can't ever talk to or see T again, I can't talk about childhood stuff.

sounds like ..... dont know - just know you deserve the care that T can give you - that you deserve to be helped out of this and that your T would be able to understand - not condone - but understand what happened - my T says she understands why I si'd - does in NO WAY condone it (stern voice) but understood it - I think your T is the same

I listened to his message again. I've never heard him be so stern. It's scary. End Quote)

So scary to think that he's angry or that he cares that much to be angry?
please be safe Earthmama, I hope you talk to your T - please take care P7