(((((((((((((((em)))))))))))))))

oh earthmama, whatever you did is over and it's okay. we're all human and do totally dumb things, so please don't beat yourself up. i can't even believe how much you've been through in your life and you still have such a sweet, fun personality. you really are a wonderful person. i haven't been thru half of what you have and i doubt i would have survived if i had. so, if you need to go a little crazy now and then it is pretty understandable. i do think you will deal with your past when you are ready as you seem so committed to finding healing. it probably would be good to let T call you as you need his support right now. i'm sure he's just very concerned and that's because he loves you like we all do.