You are describing how I had been my entire life...the things I did to get women to notice me...the storys I made up to get them to pity me...I'd drink up any tiny look of compassion they showed me and that would keep me going until that run out and I was back looking for more...I can now say after yrs in therapy that I no longer have this outlook, people come and go in my life and there is no desperation attached...yes I needed a mother figure and yes I need lots of compassion...I was just so empty I felt I'd never get filled up enought...well I am getting filled up enought and its so freeing being able to engage in conversation with other women without that terrible hole inside of me...I mean I'd even copy these womens mannerisms, I was just empty...now theres a me and then theres them and we meet some where inbetween but when we part, I come away the same as I entered, and have lost nothing...there is hope..