thanks all for the advice. No legal issues so far my boys have visited me and stayed with me twice now. I think you are right about the strong men thing, when i let myself be vulnerable she makes me feel like crap but when I start standing ground she changes her tune..its weird. I am trying to get her into counseling its taking time but hopeful she will finally do it and I too. I'm going to stay the course I am on and see how this works out.