Quote:
Originally Posted by Jewels
dear poohbear...
firsta all, u aint goin crazy...an u seem ta know bout ur parts bettrn a lotta othrs do...i know mosta our parts but yahna doesnt wanna know...she tries her best ta keep us in but it just dont work...cuz we all needta b heard an helpd...i know she is just scard bout whats happenin ta her...
we tried ECT too but found that it triggerd more an more of the lilest of our insidrs...an the depression worsend steada gettin bettr...please please please see if u cn find a way ta listn more to ur alters an see if bein off many meds will make a difference...we were finally takn off all but two meds an now there is not the debilitatin depression we once had...sure there is depression cuz its a sad business ta hear all the stories an go through the retellin...but while it seems like the depression is overwhelmin...a lotta that is overwhelmin in an of itself cuzza what we went through...an the depression will take on a different kinda feelin...besides which its difficult ta treat everybody inside an what may work for one wont work for the rest...so its kinda futile ta take vast amounts of meds just ta keep us quiet...is bettr ta just let us retell, find closure, an learn that our stories r just as important as everybody elses...we dont lean toward the I word, but we can an sometimes do work toward cooperation with our host...for us is the bettr of both worlds...we keep her safe an we cn lend her our strength when our stories get the bettr of her...
but in the end its what makes evrybody inside an out more comfortable...sometimes we dont have the strength ta go on, but we oftn cn find the strength from someone inside...an thats enough til the rest of us gain our strength back...an it goes back an forth like that for a long time...at least for us it does...cuz we r a work in progress...an wanna let yahna know that she will always b safe, evn when we r out...an that is what right now is takin the longest...helpin her see we rnt all scary an bad like she thought...an we cn give her strength ta carry on...
donno if this helpd it is just our take on ECT an what we went through afterwards...we r far bettr than aftr our ECT cuz we started ta work with each othr an yahna rather than against evrybody an yahna too...
abbi of jewels
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Jewels~
I don't know if my parts will ever cooperate with each other. I am not even sure some of them know that some of them exist. I am discoverying in therapy that I have more parts than I orginally thought and this has me very concerned. My therapist found another one yesterday and it really freaked me out. I just can't help but wonder just how many are there. Were things really that bad during the abuse? Could I have created some to just get through my early adult years? I am so confused and scared that I don't know what to do. I just feel like I am going crazy. I am becoming more and more aware of voices that I have never heard before. I feel like my world is changing and not for the good.
Pooh