|
You sound like you are completely avoiding therapy. You have excuses for every time, but when you have so many situations, it's a pattern, and patterns are driven by something more than a circumstantial "go with niece." You're afraid of something, or want to end the therapy and can't get yourself to bring it up with T, you don't like your T, you're angry about something with him or this or that so you keep cancelling.
Do you want to be in therapy or not? If someone wanted to be in therapy they wouldn't let non-urgent things prevent them from going to a particular appointment--all of your excuses sound non-urgent. I’ve never heard of someone having such a significant history of missed appointments in one period.
At some point, depending on where your work is at and what the T thinks your issue is, your T will terminate. After a couple of missed appointments without contacting the T is seen by many T's as a cessation of therapy at the behest of the patient's actions, so they formalize by writing a letter. If a patient isn't showing up, no therapy is happening; a therapy relationship doesn't exist.
You need to do a lot of thinking and acting. Something very significant inside yourself that makes you avoid. I recommend you see your T immediately and communicate via letter or phone to let him know how greatly concerned you are about the cancelling issue. Non-action means you might very soon get a letter from your T telling you you're terminated. You can only cry wolf so many times.
I hope you do something to get help; you must be in great distress. The not crawling out of bed thing is something I relate to very well, it's a strong symptom of serious depression--something I'm dealing with right now. Are you in a major depression?
__________________
out of my mind, left behind
|