Hi bellaviolet,

This is my final attempt to respond. My other 2 disappeared after much time & thought put into response - ugh So, I'll try to make this post a little shorter.

You have every reason to feel hurt by your father, and now 2 of your siblings. Everyone is human - we all have weaknesses and strengths - but you deserve empathy and support! Your perception of the issue being swept aside by your father when you seriously needed his support is incredibly painful. Maybe your father had a different perspective, we don't know, and it doesn't matter anyway. You are his child. You're certainly more important than his buddy next door! The issue should have been worked through appropriately, but it wasn't.

The issue will stay until it is worked through. It may have been 20 years, but that pain is fresh inside your mind and heart now. It's part of who you are. Until your older brother and sister validate the pain that you've gone through, and make attempts at repairing your relationship, that pain will still be there.

Personally, I'd recommend that the four of you get together to talk about the sexual abuse by the neighbor. Approach it as gently and as personally (about YOU) as possible. Your younger brother may be a good one to bring up what he saw happening with you - the very emotional part. Your brother's recollection of events support your feelings. That is great, because he can approach the part about your father not supporting you & your older siblings will probably be more willing to hear his perspective than yours at that point. Once they seem to have a grasp on the issue, then you can bring up the low self-esteem effects that the entire event had (be sure to mention how common this is).

No guarantees that it will work. But it is certainly worth trying. I wish you the very best ~ hugs to you!
Shez