I let drinking take me to an attempted suicide. That was over a year now. I went almost a year before I drank again. What triggered me? The self destructive pattern I have when seeking relationships with women. I drank a second time about five weeks later, and a third time, binging this last saturday. I'm worried that I am once again starting to look to booze to escape the emotional pain that I seem powerless to heal in my life. I know what I do wrong with relationships, and yet I still find myself subconsciously attracted to the same situations. It's so much easier just to get a bottle and escape, and forget women. With all the meds I'm on now, I really felt like crap when I drink, and coming off the booze my anxiety is in overdrive. I've been to AA, I don't think that would help me now. I'm AvPD anyway. But I sure could use your encouragement to stay strong till I get over this last heart ache. I haven't drank since saturday.