for me it can be traced back to the abuse---just when i would begin to think that things were going ok, that maybe the parents really did care about me or i would begin to trust just a tiny bit--BAMM i was knocked on my butt and everything shattered into a million pieces.

that's how it is for me now. i am afraid to fully trust anyone for anything. and if i do, i get similar feelings to what you have. it's all going to hit me on the head.

trust is a really difficult issue. but what i am finding is that the more i practice with those who have proven trustworthy, the less i get those sick feelings.

wi