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Amazingly, everything fell into place so I could go.
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Sounds like it was meant to be. At the beginning of the week you were fearful that you wouldn't get ANY T appointments, and now you have 3.
I think Someone Somewhere in the Universe is looking out for you, dear EM.
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Ha - when I started this thread it seemed hopeful, but now it seems scary. I guess it's both.
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You are right - it IS both. Hope and fear can exist at the same time - kind of like the gray area your T tells you about. I know it is hard to be in the gray area, but try to remember that T is with you there and will keep you safe and help you through this......and I think there are a lot of people on PC that love you and will be with you in the gray too. (incl. me!)
I'm so glad you are feeling better.