I hope that I can explain this so you can help me. After seeing my T for over 2 years I was finally able to trust him and finally tell him alot of trauma in my past. He is my safe person, the only person that makes me even think there is a slight chance I might ever be really truely happy someday. However, within the last month or so I have found that I just haven't been able to be as open with him as I have in the past. I feel like I'm building a wall around myself again, I don't understand why either. I have started writing him letters trying to express what I'm feeling inside, however even those don't come out right. Although the last one I wrote was at 4 a.m and I have been hypomanic so it probably really made no sense anyway.
I see him tomorrow and I'm really dreading it. The last few times I saw him I almost broke down and cried, I don't cry about my past with anyone but myself and I don't know if that is the reason. I just want to run out that door 10 minutes after I've gotten there. This is just making me so sad.
Cai