i have a suggestion that will help take your mind off yourself. from what you've said about your mother's illness, two months in a facility, she must need a lot of care. my mom sure did when she had a stroke and she didn't spend but a few days in the hospital. you could just throw yourself into making her comfortable and completely forget all of the negative emotions that you're experiencing now. i'm sure your mother would be so grateful to have her daughter caring for her. and take as long as you need, away from the forums, we'll be sending supportive vibes your way.