You're right ihateit, things don't get better by leaving them alone. But the difference is YOU and YOUR wife needed to fix things in your relationship. dsh74 has legitimate complaints, but her choices are rather limited. Either she can put her foot down, put up with it, or kick them out.

The problems between daughter and son-in-law can only be addressed by those two people. It's frustrating to see your child in a relationship with obvious problems, but the fact remains that when a third party becomes involved they become at best a crutch and at worst a part of the problem.

It's not only battles that you choose to fight, but whether you're entitled to be in the battle to begin with.