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Going to see a T will break you out of the sever cycle you described yourself going through. The cycle won't disappear on its own--something is needed to help break it. The hand therapists have nothing to do with a T's way of operating.
The differences are these: IF you get angry in a therapy session, the T will want you to process it with him. Others aren't getting paid to process things; a T is. That's why he's there.
You don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to. Tell a T you don't want to talk about it until you feel more comfortable. It's not like with a medical doctor where as a rule you need to talk about your present issues.
The T doesn't drive the process; it's mutual. IF you have things you want to talk about, go ahead and do it. That’s why you're paying a T. They're there to help you, not grill you like a lawyer in court would. Not wanting to talk about something right then won't anger a T. They might want to get you to talk about why you don't want to talk about whatever it is, but that's an attempt to process and help. Not an inquisition.
Realize your ultimate control over the process. You can cancel or walk out or never go back at any point in the process. If you never go in the first place you have no chance of benefitting from therapy, getting professional outside views and insights. Are you willing to try getting help? What do you have to lose? Nothing but a lot of stress, mental and emotional confusion; the things that you'll be (working to and) cutting out of your life are the bad things.
You'll find extraordinarily few people who feel harmed by having gone to see a T for the first time. You'll find an extraordinarily high number of people who feel they've benefitted from taking that first step.
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out of my mind, left behind
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