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truthseeker18 · 08:13 PM

I want to be the best that I can be. Yet I fear that I may never achieve this. In 2003 with help aid of my Psychiatrist we stopped medication then in 2004 I had wieght loss surgery and lost 200 pounds and I have gained 60 of it back since I moved back to California in Nov. of 06. I had 4 jobs and the last one I was fired from. I am now back on ssi and ssa waiting for my classes to start in apiril. I thought that things were only going to get better for. Hadden I been through enough already. Mulested at 9, Rapped at 12, married at 18, the mother of 4 at 21, relized I was in a bad relationship at 19, found out that my brother who had died at age 16 was molested and rapped by our its hard for me to say even now, went to a battered woman's shelter at 38, Diagnoised with biopolor at 27, in and out of hospitals between the ages of 29 and 44...... Anyway after my surgury and my regular therapy session I finally thought I had a life coming to me. One that I could finally be proud of but instead its been one hurdle after another most I took in stride and kept doing my affirmations and believing that I was going to make it. Well I its almost 5 years later and I can't help feeling like I the biggest skrew up that this world has ever seen, if the world were looking, most of the time I feel invisible.

Thanks for listening Bobbi