I've been away from the forums for a long time...not intentional, but 'time' just passes. Here's the current deal though:

My husband (of 20 years) just won an all expense paid cruise in the Caribbean through a contest at his work...and since I'm too much of a wreck to go with him, and he doesn't want to go alone (and none of our three teens are 18 yet), he ended up giving the trip to his boss.

See, both my parents died, together, in an airplane crash when I was ten....it was the first trip Momma went on with Daddy. So yes, it's understandable that I'd be a bit post traumatic about it...and anxious or way overprotective about traveling with my husband.

I'm so tired of simply 'understanding' ~ I want to move away from this, to dealing with it, to being able to travel without being so superstitious about death, and telling myself

if we go together on this cruise, the boat will sink and we'll orphan our three young teens.

tips to get past the talking part and further along in the 'dealing' part?

I do so much want to bless my husband and I feel terrible guilt about not going (he's being wonderfully understanding about it). I promised him if he wins another trip on land, we can take back to back flights and yes, I'm there, but could I really do that?

honestly, staying home doesn't ensure I'll not die. ugh ugh ugh.