Ah yes.......have you been Dx BPD? This black and white thinking is one of the cornerstones of the disorder. Only therapy worked for me.....it is not something you can just "get over".

An example that sticks out for me is seeing my psychologist......sometimes I would have to be escorted to a session by one of my favorite burly nurses with a hypodermic at the ready.......I was very violent for many years. She would start the session and probably say something i didn't want to talk about and I would start swearing. Then I would crack it, to avoid being jabbed by my burly nurse I would call them all a bunch of w@#$ers and storm out......screaming at all the other patients. My T would poke her head out the door and yell out "see you next week!!" Ha! The patience of a saint.

She treated me for 7 years, week to week. She saved my life. But after my violent outbursts, I would ring her to see if she would still treat me. I was testing her......her allegiance to me, trust.

I hate you, don't leave me? Read this Book......explains a lot.

Good luck, it does get easier and you will have fulfilling, equal relationships. I also learn't not to care much what other people think......