vienna, that was awesome that you wrote down your thoughts. i have always benefitted from doing just that. it sort of crystalizes how i feel.
as for your t question. i know for me it helped when i shared things with T that i had written down. but sometimes we are not comfortable sharing everything at once. how bout doing a two columned list about this feeling of conflict of whether to share or not.
one column: reasons you want to share the things you wrote. write down which things/feelings/thoughts you'd like to share if any.
second column: write down why u don't want to share something and why.
i hope this may help you in deciding what you want to do. i know it's some more writing...but i believe you may see what you want to do more clearly. it will also help you to decide what you are comfortable sharing with t right now. it may be everything!! the list may help you with this.
best of luck and keep us posted, k? we do care about you.