its ok to be how you feel ((puffy)) there is no one who will harm you enough to take away your spirit for life... the darkness doesnt stay forever and the sun shines again in time... even night rain can be a soothing sound to our ears, hearing the tap tap on the roof.. it can put us in mind of softer and freer times in our minds, when we were free from the suffering, the pain, the sorrow, the feelings of loss never wanting to be extinguished.... it can all easily be replaced in time, with patience with ourself, with understanding, caring and kindness.. a life of joy can be ours when we have gentle patience with ourselves, with those in our surroundings... when we feel alone we can rest in knowing there is peace to be found, in some way, in some time... it may be near or it may be far, but we can know there is beauty to observe, if only in a minds eye for one moment... we can have the feeling of having it all, and all is ours, in time.. sending hope and joy for you today... i will pray that an amount of it will remain...