you're on the right track even if you didn't know it:
"how do I get rid of these Bloody feelings?"

here's a thought to consider, FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS.
the feelings you have are false facts about ppl in general being not trustworthy. so when u revert back to the feeling level, there u are again with a false fact.
i dealt with this in therapy. i think many of us, having had bad experiences, may group everything together into a false belief. we generalize the experience into a general belief. anything that follows that is similar in nature we immediately place that experience with the others that are associated with a false fact.
so the key, imo, is to replace the false fact with a positive one. a new belief if you will.
example: you stated you had been abused and just when you thought things were better...bam you were back into the abuse belief...."it will always turn out this way, etc." so trust became an issue... not knowing when the other shoe would fall 'cause surely it would. so you created a false belief about ppl in general that for sure the other shoe would fall.

the real fact: some ppl cannot be trusted and by experience we can sort them out. but most ppl can be trusted. they have shown us that they can be trusted. therefore we can trust most ppl.
i hope this wasn't confusing. it took me a while of exercising this new way of thinking to, for the most part, eliminate reactions that were not applicable to the situation. now i can more easily sort out the truth of a situation and follow the true belief.
hope this helps.