Gee, sorry you are feeling so bad. If you are really trying all those things, I would suggest you see an MD for some medication assistance... something to bump you up enough to feel better about what you are trying to do... and get you over this dismal feeling of aloneness.

It sounds like the depression has you captured. The sooner you get help, the sooner it can lift. IMO. Don't put this off, you have many wonderful days ahead of you... do what you can to take care of you.