You need to press your reset button and start over from scratch. If you change the way you look at things, the way things look will start to change. You need to take baby steps. Set small goals and accomplish one goal at a time. Start by cutting strips of paper and writing one thing you want out of life on each strip. Their is no limit to the things you might want. You could potentially end up with 100 strips. When you run out of goals or wants, try to organize them into an order as to what you want first, second and so on. We can get so overwhelmed when we try to look at the bigger picture and it can seem like we will never get from point A to point B. So start by only focusing on the first strip of paper until you have accomplished that goal and then move to the second and so on. You will be amazed at what you are actual able to do.

As for the medication, I am not a doctor but you probably need to see a doctor and safely get off all medication, get reevaluated and gradually start over.