Shirley, that is part of my confusion. If he knew enough to lie to me how could he not know what he was doing. I have self-esteem issues, have always had, but this makes it all so very much worse. I feel that his obsession is me. What scares me is that i have read that this can run in families. I have alot of problems with behavior from my 11 year old son, alot of anger, and he doesnt want to talk to a counselor at all. This is all scaring me to death. I am trying to find out all information that i can. I think that it will help to talk with psychologist tomorrow and i also made an appointment with a counselor that i talked to once years ago for myself that is totally separate from him. I feel partly to blame because i didnt leave him when this first happened. His family thinks i should let him come back and us work on his ocd together. Im not ready for that, and i dont see how i could ever be ready to ever be in a marriage/relationship with him again. Thank you very much for giving me an opinion, very appreciated.