Thank you all for the words and thoughts. He does go to visit every other weekend. Its just hard when I want to talk about how he is doing in school - not turning in homework, a project he has that's due, etc - and wanting her parental input and not getting the added support. The other thing was trying to get him to develop socially as a 14 yr old. He switches into this 8 yr old behavior that we (step-mom and I) have to continuously correct. It gets to my wife because when his mom calls they both talk to each other in little kiddy voices. He becomes 8 and she become 10. I try to get him to get involved in the youth group at church, call friends, hang out with other teens, but it comes back to being around little kids. He is the oldest on both sides and my daughter (10) is the closest to his age. At his mom's he's around kids 5-8 and that is what he grew up with.
His mom and I argued about him being "a little kid" and he is not. But I will continue to teach my kids and be a father for them. Again thank you very much and stay golden as you go through you days.