My X took my children from me. I lived in the UK, she's British, we got married, had two beautiful kids, and then...she didn't want to leave the UK and she got literally everything, I had my clothes.

We did keep in contact, but when I told her I was thinking about moving to the UK for good, she told me I wasn't the kid's father, they had one now, and he was good to them and I was never to talk to them or contact them or her ever again. All this came out of the blue, as I was doing all I could to keep in contact with them (I was in CA for Pete's sake, I coulnd't see them all the time), birthdays, Christmas, once a month calls (couldn't afford more than that), and she knew it. She moved, and hid herself well, it wasn't 'til now that I'm back in the UK that I found her. I sent a letter, but I knew she wouldn't respond, and she hasn't... Cest-la-vie. She even ilegally changed my daughter's name (I know this for sure, but don't know if she did my son or not). My daughter turned 17 in Feb, my son will be 15 this March. I haven't seen them for 10 years, and haven't spoken to them for 9 years.

Why all this? As much as you may dislike your X wife, you have your son. He sees you daily except for her visits. He's old enough to know who and what you are. My kids no nothing about me, and what they do know is prolly bad from her. Oh well. I love my children and would love to even be able to see them every other weekend. You have it good my friend!

I wouldn't worry that she talks bad about you, and you are doing the right thing by not talking bad about her. Personally, I woulnd't even discuss her with him, so he has nothing to say at all. If she won't talk to you in a civil, polite manner, and be a friend, there is no reason to involve her, she is extricating herself from this, and the more you push her the worse it will get, especially if she's a control freak.

I don't like confrontations, but if I get pushed to a certain limit, I will confront. I don't like ultimatums, but there are times I feel they are necessary. I don't like getting walked on...and it seems she feels she has the right to do so to you...and you let it happen. Being nice, being Christian, doesn't mean you let people treat you like a door mat. You can be kind in telling her what you need and what you want, and if it's not going to happen, no more will you even bother talking to her. If she can't accept that her behaviour is destructive, then why keep trying? Tell her she can come get him on her days, then drop him off. Leave her out of his life with you, no need to interact with her at all. This is all IMHO, but how I would deal with it.