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Old Feb 28, 2009, 11:02 AM
lynn P.'s Avatar
lynn P. lynn P. is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
Quote:
Originally Posted by unhappywife View Post
I have come to the end of my rope with my husband. After 15 years he has become someone I don't even recognize. He works from home and consistently lies to me about what he does during the day while I'm at work. I also accidently found out that he was looking at She-Males on the internet and he also searched Escort Agencies on Google. I panicked and looked at his credit card statement and found out he also went to a casino while I was at work and squandered over $1300.00 of our money. When I confronted him he said I was making a "big deal about nothing". He does the bookkeeping for my company so does contribute, however, I do all the day to day business and bring in the revenue. When I told him I wouldn't pay his bill he said he would "just leave".

The other day my 8 year old daughter came to me with an old porno tape that she had found in his desk drawer. A few months back she had found another one and so I asked him to please throw them out. He said he did, but obviously this is not the case. I asked him outright this morning if he had disposed of them, and he lied right to my face. I have confronted him about the constant lying and lack of communication but he just says "I'm not doing this", "I'm not talking to you about this", "you are too demanding, and overreact about everything". I don't think I'm being unreasonable. He is spending family money without communicating with me, and he's looking at things online that really disturb me. Who knows if he's acted on any of it because he lies about where he is during the day.

I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends or family about this, and I love my children, but I don't know how much longer I can hang in.
Dear Workingitout, I can certainly feel your pain. I think Madisgram advice was right on ! I'm a new member and recently posted my problem about how my husdand of 27yrs. decided to marry another woman (in a religious sense). His religion allows it but not all do that. This happened 3 yrs ago. Read my post . You're lucky in that you are able to be finacially independent in case you do separate. I'm a stay at home Mom and feel bound by my finacial circumstances. In this economy your husband shouldn't be going to casinos. He shouldn't be making financial decisions without you. As far as the porn websites it sounds like he has too much free time and they are truly destructive to any marriage. I also don't think he should be your bookeeper and you should have someone examine the books independantly to se what he's been up to. Is he a good Father? Just remember if you do decide to separate try to remain level headed and be civil to each other for the sake of your daughter. I wish I had your financial independance then I would be able to get out of my marriage. I wish you the best of luck and be wise.