i ****ing did it again!

i met up with him to hang out. we were hanging out as frineds. we agreed beforehand nothing butfriends maybe a kiss or two. we went way too far. i said i wouldnt go to backseat with him. we stopped and discussed that neither of know what we want. of course he said he has thought holding back from datin....because im a virgin. he says noguywants to take it b/c its supposedto be special etc i told him thats why i stay single...guys stop talking to me after they find out im a 'virgin' ive done everything but intercourse. wow imwriting thhis listening to johnny cashs inging gospel. anyway i told him i dont want togotoofar. then he kissed me and we started again,doing things we shouldnt. i pushed him away again and said weve got to stop. we finally said nothing between us but friends from here on. then he kissed me again and said we might as well have fun tonight and then from here on out nothing miore. i said no. then i got all sad and said id hoped hes not mad. he said he was aggravted but its was ok. i think its because he didnt get off...

godi suck. he said he thinks its because he thinks it b/c im feel its bad to do that stuff with a 'friend' i told him he was oright. why do i **** up? nowits gonnabe awkward again. iknow he likes me..he even went as farto tell his ex that when she was all talking to him today but i dont think he wants to date me....because of the virignity but then hes wanting to do all this. GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!