This is my first time to this board and I'm glad to have found it! I'm also a member of another depression-related website (ect.org).

I've got a history of medical problems for which I am on disability including depression and anxiety. Nearly 9 years ago I underwent ECT for severe depression. I had two full series plus a number of maintenance treatments. I believe that I've had 20 treatments altogether.

A couple of years after finishing ECT I went on disability (like I said, I've got a whole list of problems that make me unable to work, and they include IBS, GERD, asthma, arthritis, obesity, etc, etc). When I moved back to Oswego County just north of Syracuse (where I had ECT) the commute made it difficult for me to continue seeing my psychiatrist. So I stopped seeing him and coped the best way I could.

Eventually I had no choice but to seek professional help once again and went to the County mental health clinic in Oswego, but those people are useless. I went to the psychiatrist there maybe three times and then got a letter from the clinic stating that he was going to leave and would no longer take my insurance. If I knew that was going to happen, I never would have invested the amount of time it took to get into that clinic.

So I stopped seeing a psych doc for awhile and now my depression and anxiety are getting worse. While I am not at all suicidal, my depression and anxiety have reached the point where my life has suffered a great deal. And I'm having numerous stomach problems and am in constant physical pain. I'm having an upper g.i. endoscopy on Monday and am concerned about what they may find. I've had that test before but it's not fun and I hope that the pain I've had is only stress-related.

I requested anti-anxiety meds from my doctor and she refused to give them to me, stating that I should get them from a psychiatrist. I understand her concerns, but it's been more than a month since I asked my insurance company to help with the referral and it still hasn't happened. So, I ended up going to the ER in Fulton, NY (near Oswego) and got a prescription for a month's worth of Xanax.

I thought for sure I wouldn't have to go back there to get more meds as surely I would find another psychiatrist before the Xanax would run out. I was wrong. My primary care physician refused to refill the Xanax and instead offered something that she claimed was on Walmart's $4 prescription list. It wasn't. It's a good thing that I called Walmart before going over there and I returned to my doctor's office less than an hour after I left. The only other med she was willing to prescribe was buspirone, which I used to take but is no longer effective. I stopped taking it long before I stopped going to my former psychiatrist's office.

So, yesterday (Friday, February 27) I went back to the Fulton ER and unfortunately for me, the same exact doctor who was there the month before was on duty. He scolded me big time for going but I told him I had no choice. I told him that I'm still trying to find a new psychiatrist and couldn't get in as soon as I expected at my last ER visit. In addition, I told him that another reason I went is that I was scared of quitting Xanax cold-turkey.

As a physician he should understand the risks that come with stopping a medication suddenly. Especially something like Xanax. My words went in one ear and out the other and he kept scolding me. He grudgingly gave me a 10-pill prescription of Xanax and basically told me to go.

The new prescription of Xanax, btw, is the regular version -.5mg. What he gave me last month was also .5 mg but it was "extended release."

I was researchig the drugs on Walmart's list and found one anti-depressant and anti-anxiety drug that I haven't tried in the past - trazodone. He refused to prescribe it. After leaving the ER I called my primary care doctor's and told the nurse what happened. My doctor refused to give me a prescription for trazodone, saying it wouldn't work fast enough for me and that I should go to one of the hospitals in Syracuse.

I said that I couldn't. I don't have the gas money to run back and forth like I've been doing and I am not suicidal. I asked her nurse "are you telling me that you want me to go to one of those psych ER's in the city and say I'm suicidal when I'm not?" She said no.

I say BS! I won't lie. I am depressed but not suicidal. It felt like my primary care md's office was trying to push me into getting admitted right away and it's not necessary.

I felt I had no other alternative than to go to the ER. I needed precise instructions as to how to taper off the Xanax and I needed additional medication (which would have been better than nothing) to tide me over until I could get into another psych doc's office. And I was scared about suddenly stopping the Xanax.

I finally got the instructions I needed re. the Xanax from my pharmacist. Why those two doctors couldn't is beyond me.

Btw, the ER doc suggested the county mental health department and told me to see them right away, but he's got no clue what goes into getting into that place. An appointment has to be set to see an intake person. It's not until sometime afterwards that I would have seen a psychiatrist. Who knows when that would have been.

So here I sit, horribly depressed and very anxious. I've got that stomach test on Monday and after that I will be better able to address the psych issues. If they find nothing organic in nature that's causing my stomach problems, then this means that my psych issues are to blame, and that wouldn't be good at all.

I am working with another person at my insurance company who seems more willing to help than the last person I spoke with there. I told her the same thing that I've told others - that my former psychiatrist was too busy to take me back. He's no longer accepting new patients or former ones like me, but when I called his office the other day I was told that in 3-6 months I could probably get back into his practice.

My new contact person at the insurance company told me yesterday that according to my former psych doc's contract with them, he's supposed to let me come back right away unless I was terminated from his practice, which I wasn't. It'll be interesting to see if she can get me back in.

In the meantime, I have a few questions:

1. Have any of you had similar problems with regard to getting psych referrals?

2. Have any of you had ECT in the past like me and had to go back and have more treatments like I'm trying to do?

3. How long would it take once I get into a psychatrist's practice before actually starting ECT again?

4. And just out of curiosity, can ECT be done on an emergency basis (meaning the same day that a person goes to the ER)? While I haven't reached that point, I wonder if having same-day ECT is possible.

Sorry this is so long...it's been a heck of a bad week and I can't wait to get that test over with on Monday. After that (depending on the results) I should be able to address my psych issues some more.

I would appreciate your comments. Thanks!