dsh74 - this is your home, and you are perfectly within your rights to expect a little peace and privacy from time to time even in a common room. I think I have a pretty good idea on how you feel. We've had several teens move in lock, stock and barrel. The last time I didn't think it would bother me, the girl slept here at least three times a week and was here every waking moment from the time she was 11 so I didn't think it would be that big of an adjustment when they (she and my daughter) approached me about having her move completely in when she was 16.

The first year wasn't bad. There were annoying things that I didn't mind putting up with from my own children, but when it was someone else it really got under my skin. In the summer her boyfriend's family fished in Alaska, so she'd talk to him all night on the computer. At first I didn't mind because even though it was a lap-top, she wasn't doing it in their room keeping my daughter up when she had to work at 5 the next morning. After a while it became extremely annoying that I couldn't even sit in my livingroom in the evening and spend some time with my kids without her being in the room. It wasn't just that she had all of her stuff spread all out taking up the whole room, it was just that once in a while I wanted some privacy. Once in a while I wanted to sit and watch a TV program without her talking into the head-phones or hear the music blarring from them.

I guess I can't really verbalize it properly, it was like she took control of the house. I couldn't clean during the day because she stayed up all night and slept all day. My daughter had to tip-toe around her room and had no privacy herself.

What few rules we had for her: 1) Go to school 2) behave in school 3) do your homework 4) Come home at a decent time or let us know when you're not coming home (had no rules at her home, I never did figure out why she wanted to move from no rules to a house with them)... She broke. I never said a word to my daughter about this, I knew by venting to her, she'd be more defensive of her friend (who has had a difficult life) and that would create a problem between she and I. Eventually though the friend went beyond even her comfort zone, quit going to school without telling us, disappeared for 4 days without telling us where she was or who she was with. My daughter came to me and said she knew we weren't comfortable with the situation and she was uncomfortable trying to cover for her friend at home, school and work.

How does your husband feel about this?