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turquoisesea · Feb 28, 2009, 09:10 PM

Your post touched me because I've been in the same situation with my bf... going to sleep because I was TIRED, but being upset... regretting that I went to sleep tired.... because in the morning it's been festering all night while I was "asleep".

I'm really glad your husband is there for you, even though he's not seeming to help, at least he did bring you the stuff you asked for, at least he's there. For me it means so much that my bf is there for me. Its kinda like your location you put... your personal hell, well I'd never wish that hell on anyone but my bf lives here with me sometimes, he goes through so much of the hell with me, and although I'd never wish it on him it does help to have someone to hold my hand, hug me. Even though it doesn't necessarily make me "better".

Quote:

I don't know if this makes a bit of sense, but I wish I could die.
I am saying that I am suicidal. It's not that I want to actually do anything to kill myself...
I just wish I could... I don't know... go to sleep and not wake up.

I know what you mean. I'm sorry. Know that it will pass. Let it pass. If it doesn't please keep reaching out for help to get it to pass.

I've also had so many bouts of anger lately.

Quote:

There will always be a trigger that sets the anger off. It might be something that reminded you of something that happened to you in the past. Sometimes we deny the trigger as it is too painful but ultimately knowing what triggers the anger leads to better understanding.

that's exactly it. I don't think I've reached the point where I can turn everything around, but at the very least I am begging to see some of where my hurt is coming from. I'm sorry you're angry. I hate being angry.

I wish I had more advice, or a make-it-all better pill, we'll both have to settle for many a cyber hug and , understanding. you're not alone.