unhappywife, what most concerns me about your post is that your daughter is being exposed to pornography and that your H doesn't even seem to care, and says he won't talk about it with you because overreact. You are not overreacting. Your girls need to protected from pornography. It is not psychologically healthy for them to see this stuff at their age or even to know that their father enjoys watching this stuff. It can mess with their own sexual development. My H also was careless with his porn and exposed our girls to it. I did tolerate his Internet porn use for quite a few years, thinking, hey, he's an adult, it's not really hurting anyone, is it? But involving the girls was not right, and eventually his porn habit excalated to seeking out extra-marital partners.

I don't think the $1300 is really the issue, is it? It's what he is doing with his time and money--the porn, the gambling, etc. Say he didn't spend the money but was still doing those things--would you be OK with that? My H spent plenty of money on his girlfriends before we finally separated. I just let it go. What was most important was learning how he felt about our marriage (wanted non-monogamous relationship) and how careless he was about our daughters and deciding what I was going to do about it.

I think a therapist would be helpful. That's what they're there for. Your therapist can help you decide what you want to do about the marriage. If the decision is to get some marriage counseling with your H, then that's great.

Good luck.