Thanks for the support. ((( HUGS )))

I am just a whirlwind of emotions about it all...and I'm NOT usually like this. I am usually a happy-go-lucky person who just avoids being with her husband...LOL

Yet, now that I am faced with a therapy appt, I find myself feeling needy, with excrucating desire/longing for someone to understand me, and wondering what should be covered by this appt.

He's really our marriage counselor....so I wonder if he plans to focus entirely on my husband and how I can deal with his issues.

Or, maybe he wants to delve deeper into why I feel the way I do about things to better help me decide in life if this is the path I want.

I keep having these thoughts in my head about whether or not it's important to share with him my dad's death and how I'm still in such a terrible grieving stage....And then there's the unmentionables...like my low self-esteem issues to where I can't even be naked in front of my own husband - EVER....or how I was taken advantage of sexually by an old boss when I was 14........like my OCD/PTSD issues that my husband doesn't even know about....or the aching fantasies I have just to take me to some place in my mind where I am feeling what I don't feel at home.

On the one hand, I feel like he needs to know these horrible things in order to truly understand....on the other hand, I am thinking to myself that he just wants an easy day and doesn't care about my life, I'm wasting his time, let's focus on my husband's issues and be on my merry way.....

I am trapped in a tornado of thoughts and feelings....I really just need to relax and put it out of my mind until Tuesday...and go with the flow. Easier said than done, right?