Hi ((mixedup))--welcome!

So, you used this T for couples therapy and you are not satisfied with how your marriage is going right now. But you also recognize that you have a lot individual issues that you want to address. So, you will see the couples therapist and feel your way with him. At some point, you will have to decide whether you want to continue seeing this couples therapist with your husband, and use him as your individual therapist at the same time, or even ask him for a referral to someone who you can work with individually. Don't worry so much about what HE wants to focus on. Decide what YOU want out of the session. Also--all of the other attachment and transference issues -- well, that's therapy but don't let it scare you away because the benefits far outweigh the risks and it is through these mechanisms that we learn the most about ourselves.

I could not use my T for couples work -- at least not right now because I am too attached to both T and H and it would be too weird for me. We did have a few sessions with T but that was early on and before I got into the intense stuff that I am "in" right now. Besides, H has no desire to go to therapy....

Good luck and let us know how you make out.