i'm sorry i don't come around here very much. i don't know how many people here know me. i don't check on pc as often or this corner of the forums.

things have been improving slowly lately, which is very nice for a change. some good progress had been made with one little. i've realized how a lot of the pack, our system, seems to prefer expressing themselves through art rather than words. someone drew a really nice picture of the pack that i thought about maybe sharing. i got engaged too.

anyways, there's a question somewhere in this, just not all to sure on how to phrase it. i have a lot of trouble still grasping and understanding that we're supposed to be unified in a way. there's us and we, but then there's me. sometimes i feel like we're all one entity, but at the same time, it's like we're a pack of animals, all different but banded together.

i struggle a lot still with trying to accept it and accept alters. sometimes it feels really weird talking about it because if i refer to something another did, it's weird if i say he, or if i use their name, because it's me? it feels like i skipped over the whole 'understanding' thing and i've gone to work trying to cope, but i'm coping with something that is hazy and confusing.

i try to grasp and understand it but things always slip away i always think to myself that people never understand, and now i realize i don't understand too well myself.

well there was supposed to be a question somewhere in there but i think i lost my own point. it's as if only now i've started to accept this and i thought i was on my way to understanding it. now i'm just muddled up and confused.