well berries a lot of us here consder you a great friend. you may be loved by ppl you don't even realize love you...but i do know that your mom and g and g love you and that's just a start! try to not be so hard on yourself. you are appreciated here.  and we do care a lot about you, "just the way you are" as mr. rogers used to say. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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