Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
It's a fallacy to say people just throw their marriages out the window. Anyone who has been through divorce knows how extremely painful it is to go through. It is not something anyone enters into lightly. And it certainly is not easy at all. Most people who get divorced after 20+ years together have tried everything they could (or at least one party has) over a period of many years before finally getting divorced. I sure wanted to save my marriage, but my H had many affairs and just wasn't interested in monogamy anymore. (Isn't it one of the vows to be monogamous? Why hold to the "death do us part" vow when the others are broken?) I certainly couldn't force him to be monogamous. In couples counseling, with a very skilled marriage counselor, it became clear divorce was the best solution for us. Yep, divorce comes hard to those who undergo it. It is a hard road and people do not make the decision lightly. unhappywife, what I'm saying isn't really in response to your situation--I'm not saying that you and your H couldn't work out the problems in your marriage. I just wanted to stick up for all of us divorced folks out here who put our hearts and souls into our marriages and many, many years, but still had them fail.
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No, it's not a fallacy to say people throw thier marriages out the window. If you notice I did say there are exceptions...not 100% of all marriages can be (or should be) saved. I had a G/F - Wife, with her for 8 years and she divorced me, there was nothing I could do about it, just as you couldn't with your H.
You can stick up for us divorced people, because I know how hard it is too...but I also know that marriages can be, and should be, in most cases, saved. If you read my post, I said if they are both willing, and if both really do love each other.
I am sticking to the truth though. A lot of people do throw them out the window, statistically over 50% of marriages end up in divorce, people treat marriage as if they were BF/ - G/F, just break up, no prob. In my counsleing sessions I have heard many stupid reasons why ppl get divorced, the worst one was because the husband wouldn't put the toilet seat down, that was it, that was the reason the wife divorced him...please.
I don't believe in divorce for many reasons, and unless you have exhausted everything, don't just throw in the towel. I am sorry you had to go through what you did Sunrise, because I too did, and I know what it's like, but those vows...they mean something to me, and marriage isn't something you enter into lightly...divorce, for the most part, is something people enter into lightly, because it's easy.