Well, I typed a HUGE response and it all got erased AGAIN. I might type a similar lengthy reply later, but for now, I'll say something far shorter. I agree that just because it is common doesn't make it right, and certainly we can choose to ignore natural instinct. That much we can agree on.

With that said, "shame" doesn't always imply you did something wrong or you aren't ready to make a decision. In fact, I could name a handful of situations in which this isn't true off the top of my head (and did in my lengthier post that got erased....*frowns*). Plus, some people even feel ashamed of things they had no control over, such as many young girls being ashamed when they get their periods due to being raised in a culture of shame.

On top of this, I'm in my mid 20's (by my age, my sis was married with two kids), but no matter what my age, I would prob. always feel embarassed for my mother to know about my sex life. I know other people, twice my age, who feel the same, but that doesn't mean none of us should ever have sex. We have various reasons for feeling ashamed, and not necessarily because we truly feel we've done wrong. So, I wouldn't go so far as to say, if it makes you feel shame, it is an automatic sign you shouldn't be doing it. I think it's a bit more complicated than that in some cases.

But my point isn't really even to debate whether it's okay for teens to engage in sex. My point was simply that, many teens do have sex whether wrong, right, or neutral, and if mid-older teens want to have sex, they're going to find a way unless you never let them have any freedom, which is unhealthy, in my opinion (I have seen it in others with some serious repurcussions).... and telling their families could do more harm than good in many situations. There might be exceptions, but as a general rule, I think it's best to bite your tongue, or talk to the kids. As for legalities, it is a cause for concern, but it depends on the age of the two teens and the state they are in.