Just a comment on your comment, if it's okay.

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maybe develop another layer of skin for the occaisions when we receive feedback that WE FIND hurtful

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For some time now, I've been "trying on" any hurtful comment that's made to me, especially if it's an opinion of me. If I find that there may be a smidgen of truth, I try to correct it. If I don't feel there's any truth to it, but rather, just a misdirected putdown, I don't mind adding that layer of skin.