Rekon,
Thank you for your service.

One thing to note is you are in a situation that really is not "best geared" toward a good, constantly-reinforced family-style relationship. It's not just the military. Guys who go on business trips end up cheating, and their wives at home do too. Any situation where people are apart is potential trouble for any trust-based relationship.

It sounds like you guys (Sher and Rekon) are looking at ways to make it work. I have to ask you guys though - can you live without gf or bf for a while? Not you two together - you two individually. Can Rekon live for 6-months without the responsibility of a girlfriend? Can Sher live for 6-months without a boyfriend? There are a lot of relationships that continue-on because they feel like they have to despite all the other stuff happening around it. Now you guys love each other and you have trust issues. Maybe work it out through a services-sponsored mediator? Doesn't the armed services branch you are in have those type of services? They have a good amount of psych care - and there is no shame AT ALL for not looking for help in that area. Get the support and use it - heck, I'll even pay for it (heh, taxpayer joke there).

I know that it's a bit crass but the services are just not a great place to learn "care" that is required by a good family relationship. It's a task-oriented environment with a huge amount of "blowing off steam" once the task is done. Family life and relationships don't look like, nor should be like, the life of an active serviceman.

Plus, a lot of times, a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship can be more work than a marriage. "don't talk to guys" is pretty rash. She should be able to talk to anyone she wants. If you want to guard against infidelity, develop trust that she will not get into a physical relationship. It takes work but girls can talk to guys without sleeping with them - and vice versa. Guys can have women friends without sleeping with them. However, it does take work to get there. Our "animal desires" are there, but can be held in check with personal boundaries.