so the girl party was tonight. the one that i had planned before deciding to get sober. i told my best friend the night before about going to aa and she was very happy because she had been worrying about me. she said she and the other girl would be more than happy to stay sober too. i told her i wanted them to have fun, i just wouldn't drink. i planned this thing for her because she never gets a night away from her husband and son, and her husband is in vegas for the weekend, along with his brother, my friend who got sober with me. long story short, she told the other friend about my sobriety, and this friend who is more her friend then mine, said she was uncomfortable drinking around me. we went to a coffee house instead and were going to come back here and listen to music and hang out and paint nails etc. well my friend started talking about how bad her marraige is, getting stuff off her chest, and out of no where this other girl is like, lets do something! so we decided we'd go to this club where our other friend was for a going away party. i decided i would go, because the guilt of ruining the fun was depressing me, so i'd go and have a coke and watch the drunks. we got in my friend's car and i was like, i can't do this, i want to hit the late meeting. well, i had to leave my car at my first meeting that i went to after work because my breaks started to go out, so my friend loaned me her car since she has her husbands, and she asked if i was cool with her not coming over. i lied and said that it was driving me more crazy to be spoiling the fun, took her car, went to a meeting, and i'm home. truth is, i'm really pissed that she just ditched me like that. her younger hipper cooler friend so needed to party, that she ditched me in spite of promising her support. yes, she loaned me her car and i'm thankful, but i'm really bothered by this turn of events. she wasn't even going to drink. she doesn't drink much. she wanted to dance off her anger at her husband. so now i'm torn, because i had planned this night for her, then the plans changed and they weren't going to drink, then she promised be here for me, and then she wasn't. i was pretty upset, but i'm really glad i didn't go, glad i didn't decide to by non-alcoholic beer like i considered, just for the taste, glad i went to a meeting with 4 other people and got a lot of support from them. but still very disappointed. i shared the story at the meeting, it was the first time i've really shared. they all said i'm an inspiration to them, that people like me keep them sober. so anyway, i'm just on a teeter totter of emotion here, but i'm still feeling pretty good. none of this makes any sense does it? did i mention i'm exausted? haha, i finally got some more sleep the last two days, and tonight i plan on crashing hard, as soon as i'm done hanging out in the forums. anyway...i guess i should be posting all my sobriety stuff in alcohol and substance abuse, but general has been kinda my "home group". so if you think i should quit posting stuff here, please tell me. thanks for listening.