Feeling soooo confused about my therapy appt today. T told me she is struggling to understand her own reactions to me... when with me she feels 'unreal' or 'not like herself'. She can't figure it out. She said she is fine with everyone else but with me she just feels 'un-real'. I really don't know what to make of that...

She also asked if I felt it were possible to develop a connection with her, or if I thought I would be able to with someone else. From my perspective, I think I have developed the beginnings of a connection, at least. I know I don't trust much ( at all, really) and that what feels 'comfortable' for *me* likely feels like an aloof awkwardness to others... but it's kind of as much as I can give right now.

And then after that I was trying to explain that I hide so much of myself and share so little because I do not know her thoughts on DID... whether she adheres to the trauma model or the sociocultural model (therapy induced)... and I (we) am afraid to show those parts or talk about them because we fear her rejection ... and she replied with this speil about how recent research has shown that schizophrenia is not genetic, and is triggered by environmental factors, blah blah blah, and "does that answer your question?" (Umm... noooooo...)

Aieee, so confused.
What I am interpreting from her is that she is not comfortable with me / thinks I am lying ??/ perceives me as 'not real' / is struggling to connect.

There aren't really any other T options for me right now.
My bad luck, I guess.